This weekend has been absolutly lovely. . .

[Friday] The Game- not much happend there but I got to see Caleb (slightly). Jessica spent the night with me.

[Saturday] I went and saw Caleb that night. I was pretty mad over some *stuff that happend but we worked it out. Okay- He looked at me with those big brown eyes & that cute little smile & told me I was beatiful & I forgot all about what I was mad over. What can I say, he is quite the charmer.

[Sunday] I went and saw him again. We just sat outside on his porch swing and talked like the night was never gonna end- but it did. I hate saying goodbye to him. The night ended with a long hug and a kiss & if I knew it was gonna be the last time I got to see hm while he was in it would have been longer. <3

Being with him those two night was the first real one on one time that we had ever had & it made us both realize how strong our feelings for each other truly are. I love him so much. I really hope we can make this work.

My mom's friend lives right near him so I go up my mom visits her friend and I walk over to Caleb's dad's house to see him. I was suppost to go do that again today but he is at his sister's house and isn't comming back to his dad'd this time he is in. I was so sad when I found out. I miss him. He is leaving for NC in the moring & here I have found myself again waiting for Thanksgiving break to come. . .

I have been sick for the past few days. I am about to die with this headache! A lot of things in my life are questionable right now =( & I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't have control over anything anymore. I hate this feeling- so weak; so powerless. Other things are okay I guess.

Right now:

[Friends] I love my friends but sometimes some of them, okay one of then can be a lil' b**chy if you know what I mean. The rest of them are great. I couldn't ask for better.

[God] Right now I am praying for a miracle.

[Relationship] Me & Caleb are still talking. He is a really great person and I love him to death. We have been getting along much better =)

[Family] Shew- where do I start? My family has never understood me like I want then do, but then again does anyone's? I am starting to try to open up to then a little more and let then in on what is really going on. We'll just have to see how that goes.

[School] School is never good! -lol- I think I am failing Geometry & Spanish is hard but I really don't go enough to know- haha* Ancient History is easy & so is gym.

Shouts:

[Carissa] Things with us are a little rocky at the prestent moment but I still love you. You have been there for me so many times. We have had so many good times together [Sneakin' out,  S'03, play house, spacey toes, boundaries, "Take Your hair Down", 2Fast 2Furious, pathelogical liar, just good friends, "No, it's a lightning Bug", "That's some nice corn", The Boggs Grave stone, Five, CMT, Just to see you smile, "CAR! CAR!", Riner School Road, Falling in the water, Ah Baby 27 times, Lambchop, special sundae, "What's your name- Where you from. . .", Back Streets of Norton, triple CCC, runner of my life, expression of the mind, Rascle Flatts, 11:00 cufew, a.m. calls, "I'm comin' up there.", Rinus Family, our hats, gold mustang, grapermelon, "I know him as A**", big yellow Chris, freak, "Picture", bracelets, graduation, what do you think of when I say, "Don't call me on pills!", bright yellow shorts, catch & watch, ketchup, moon, jockin, umm. . . low, Kara Carissa Pondis Rinus] Just to name a few- lol.

[Samantha] We have gotten a lot closer this year and I am really glad. You helped me when I had a broken heart & I try to help you the best I can. We've had so many good times [Irish ____, "I wanna be black." Spiritual Ethopian, Hot fuge cake & Kentucky] Ever sice you moved here we just have gotten along really good. I <3 you! You better never go back to Jenkins!

[Bitty] Shew Lord! You have helped me when NO ONE else could have. You have gotten me through the lowest point in my life & you always say things to make it better. You are one of the greatest ppl I have ever met. [triangle, Empire] We were bestest best friends in the 7th grade and we are getting really close this year. We even had some "trouble" together. We put up with Dave and for that we should have won an award! =) [Lunchtime walks, you farting (ewww)] I love you so much!

[Caleb] We were best friends :] & Then we started dating but that didn't last & I'm sorry for that. I <3 you & I really hope you know that. I hope one day we can work things out.

[Jessica & Leigha] You all are so freakin' funny! We have been spending a lot more time together this year and I am really glad. I love you both. ["Together, we could kick your *butt", "Let's mug it!", CMT & BET]

[Sarah] Me and you could be a lot closer. We were best friends from Pre-K to 6th grade. You are a great person & I love you. I miss you! I miss us renting scary movies together and being so scared that we couldn't even go to the bathroom together! We are gonna have to get together and do that sometime soon. Love Ya!

[Brittany Baker] I have only know you like two years but from the first time we met we just hit it off so well. I feel like I have known you my whole life. You are so great and you always keep me laughing. =D

[Kacey] Last year we were pretty close but it seems like we are drifting apart these days! Let's put an immediate stop to that. [cousins] You always helped me when I had problems with -you know who- and I thank you for that. You are a great person and such a sweet girl. ["I'm am not gonna tell you not to do it and  that it isn't fun because it is fun!"] I told you scary stories and I hope you still love me! -lol-

Well I guess that is it. If I forgot you, I am sorry! I am staying at my Nanny's tonight. If anyone needs me- call [328-6181]. Bush won & I am so glad. I down loaded a new song and I love it: Crossfade- "Cold". It is very lovely. I miss the summer and I hate the cold. I miss waking up at 2:oopm and Staying up until the sun comes up. I miss sneaking out. [I know that sounds horrible, but I do] I need more fun in my life. I need a kiss! =D lol

-Kara Elizabeth <3

Well, well- The past few days have been very eventful- First of all I talked to Caleb yesterday: he was so freakin' mad at me because Zack and I kissed at Sarah's party on Saturday. I think that he has no right to be mad at me- we aren't even dating. Anyway, yesterday Zack & Amber Lane started dating. I hope thing with them works out. I was really mean to Amber though and I said some very. . . um- let's just say I called her some not nice name. But we are good now. I just got off the phone with her and Bitty. "Five thirty my crap!!" That was so funny. Brandon cracks me up. Tomorrow is Twin day at school- I think I am gonna go as Carissa's twin. I was gonna be Christian's but he had to go and mess thing up by being Dave's twin instead! -lol- Today I wore my pj's to school and my schooshy flop flops- lol. Me and Bitty are becoming very close again. I am so glad. Shew she always makes me feel better no matter the situation. I love that about her. (It is my song-- she just stole it haha) Samantha and Andy make the cutest couple. I hope they date an really long time. Oh wow- she just messaged me. She said that she can't wait for tomorrow. "I just can't keep a strait face"- I need to do something really bad. . . But I can't so-- That sounds really dumb.

Thinking of eyes that are the color of chocolate- ;)

Being around these two you can -Never- avoid sex talks. . .

I am sorry that I gave you *some unknown* reasons not to trust me.

Why do I keep blaming myself when I did nothing wrong? Well maybe I did do one thing- I fell in love too quickly with someone who I thought felt the same way. . .

September 6, 2004 -- September 20, 2004 

I have been so bored all weekend. I used to have something to do every night but now I sit here at home on the phone or internet. I need to get a life. I need to have some fun. Well- Caleb is coming in October 1st & I'm really glad. I miss him a lot. Carissa and I made a plan today. (wink wink; ) Miss Samantha had to be put in the hospital today. She has strep throat. She will probably be out about Tuesday. Ya know I really miss being in 8th grade. I mean I like the high school and all but I just miss it. Is that weird?? Well I am just rambling on I guess I'll go--

Kara Elizabeth

*He was in my dream last night- so I woke up smiling* Caleb <333 always puts a smile on my face and I love that. He is always making me laugh and I love that too. I have been happier in the past three days then I have been in a *long* time. I am falling head-over-heels for him- and I REALLY love that!

Home From School today--

TCS & KEW